I'm sure you've all seen the Dove commercials or print ads that have women of all ages, sizes, and colors promoting Dove's 'Real Beauty' campaign.I think it's such an awesome message that is sorely needed in our media-saturated society—media that oversexualizes women and creates impossible standards of beauty. If any of you have daughters, nieces, or work with young women, be sure to explore Dove's website (Mac users, it works only in Firefox)—there is info for both moms/mentors and girls.
Please leave comments…even those who never leave a comment. I'm truly interested to know your thoughts about this subject. Two things I'm thinking about right now. 1: What can we do to make sure our daughter(s) both understand the deception of media and appreciate real human beauty and femininity, no matter how imperfect (but at the same time educate them about the importance of health and fitness)? and 2: Since most of us are guilty of believing 'the industry' ourselves, falling for the ridiculous standards of beauty and trying to be more beautiful ourselves, how can we effectively model a healthy attitude to our daughters and make our actions just as strong as our words?
ONSLAUGHT
EVOLUTION
Click here to see a third (older) video from the campaign. It breaks my heart—I never want my daughter to feel any of those things.
11 comments:
Wow, thanks for your post. I had seen the Evolution film, but the Onslaught was hard to watch (especially the surgery part). It is pretty amazing how distorted the world's view is of beauty- not to mention unachievable. I was feeling bad a couple years ago when I started noticing the crows feet and bags under my eyes. After a little while realized that nothing is more beautiful than the aged and wise workers in the temple, and so that is where I (try to) draw my inspiration for beautiful living. Beauty magazines are a great way to make the women of the world feel poorly about themselves, and focus on fruitless things.
Great post!
Perhaps just as important as talking to our daughters is talking to our sons. I think so many boys these days have unrealistic expectations of what women should look like because of the media images. I really think that more important than anything is having a positive self image that your children see in you. We cannot underestimate the value of what children see exemplified in your home.
Thank you for this post. It is amazing. I love it. One thing that helped me and continues to help me is the talk that Elder Holland gave to the Young Women of the Church in I think it was the April session of the 2005 Conference. He said this "... But as one adviser to teenage girls said: "You can't live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people's opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. . . . The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]"8 And in the kingdom of God, the real you is "more precious than rubies."9 Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won't be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that's good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size." I think that pretty much says it all. Thanks again. I agree, we need to teach our kids what real beauty is. YOU ARE AMAZING! Sorry it is so long ;)
How cool that you post this subject! I've been thinking about this exact thing for the last week. Why? Well i am babysitting a 3yr old girl who i took to Burger King with me to order some food and as i was stopped @ the drive thru window i heard her say from the back seat "that lady is really ugly" and she kept saying it over again, luckily not loud enough for the lady to hear. But if brought to mind this exact subject you have posted on. All i could keep asking myself is "How in the world does this 3yr old know what'd ugly and what's not?"
SO anyways, I think that the best way for us to positively teach our children is Through our own example. Are we as mother's complaining about being too fat? Too ugly? Our children, especially our girls, notice these things.
Lindy, thanks for the reminder. I know I am often caught up in the media/industry and forget how it can affect my daughter. I haven't seen those Dove videos but really appreciate them. Thanks!
This is a good reminder Lindy. Thanks for sharing. My hubby, Mike, is a Dermatologist. He could get right in the middle of all the cosmetic side of it a make a bundle of money but he chooses not to. He is going to cut off skin cancers instead. Tiffany's comment is perfect. I love Elder Holland and I think he is so right about this. I also believe that obessions about our physical appearance causes our spirit to deteriorate. There is a lot of good to engage in and partake of without unhealthy and unrealistic distractions.
THANK YOU, thank you, all of you, for your thoughts. I agree with everything that's been said.
Ketsy - I like the comment re: temple workers. :)
Anne Marie - Your point about the need to educate boys as well is spot on.
Tiffany - thanks for sharing E. Holland's quote; how excellent!
Brynn - ditto on being an example/modeling…we need to show our children what self-esteem looks like and sounds like.
Heather - your comment about spiritual deterioration is so true.
Thanks again, you wonderful women (and any men reading), for sharing with me. This is something I feel so strongly about, and my heart is happy to know you feel the same way.
Oh how true it is that we need to help our girls and boys understand what true beauty is.
As already stated, I think one of the biggest factors is our own example. If we're always checking out what the stars are up too, and what the latest fashions are and obsessing about our own bodies, then yeah, of course our kids will see that that's most important.
Another way we can help I think is too build them up in all areas. Of course we think our kids are beautiful, and we need to tell them that, because most likely the world will tell them differently.
But we also need to build their self esteem when it comes too their other talents. If we only focus on how pretty they are or how smart, that's what their esteem will be wrapped up in, and as soon as they get a zit, or fail a test, they'll think they're doomed. But if they know that they can do so many other things, whether it be building other people up, or just being a hard worker, they'll have the self confidence they need to get them through those temporary setbacks.
I think my MIL did a great job building her kids self esteem (in fact, many times we joke that she did too good of a job ;) and one thing she did was let her kids catch her "talking about them behind their back" when she was actually bragging about something they did or something they were really good at to other people or other siblings.
Too often we focus on the negative when we need to accentuate the positive. Have I rambled enough?
Thanks, Summer, for your comment. I agree that we shouldn't corral our kids' self-esteem into one strength/talent. That's a great point!
Should I be crying right now?
This was a mighty post Lindy. I am really glad you did this. I don't watch much TV, so seeing those three video clips was saddening.
I read a great essay (from another blog) and posted the link on my blog. It's about 9 pages, but it's worth the read. It talks about this very thing.
Thanks for sharing.
Pathetic, but I totally cried at the third video. I never want my girls to not feel beautiful. I have never felt like a beauty queen, but I have never felt ugly either. However after having the twins -- I have longed for a tummy tuck. This post has done two things for me. 1) appreciate my sagging, streched mark stomach. 2) Saved me $7K in plastic surgery. GREAT POST!!!!
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