Venting While in a Sleep-deprived Stupor

This photo grosses me out (I don't like cats). But I'm using it to remind myself to be grateful I only have ONE baby. Ha!

I can't believe Vaha is 3 months old. Where has the time gone? My life has been like the movie Groundhog Day, where every day is the same. My nights merge into my days, and I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the date. I completely missed paying a few bills; I've forgotten about scheduled appointments. My kids have an alarming number of tardies; I even gave them their own "snow day" when I wasn't thinking coherently.

I really do not function well without my sleep! The three-times-a-night feeding sessions are really taking a toll on me. I love my baby boy so much and know that I am sacrificing for him, but I feel as if I'm going to go crazy if I can't catch a break soon and get some SLEEP.

Being sleep deprived means my appetite is crazy--all I want to do is eat. Which is NOT a good thing when I am pre-diabetic. The fact that temperatures have been hovering right around, oh, 0º F for three weeks straight absolutely does not help the "I want comfort food and baked goods" feeling, nor the "I am never going outside my house again" attitude. So guess what? Physical activity is at a near stand still. All I'm doing is nursing, zoning out, eating, yelling at my kids, watching the laundry pile grow, nursing, zoning out, and then trying to make some semblance of dinner before Aki arrives home.

As the new year rolled around, Makai's teacher had the class fill out a page about the best and worst of 2012. Makai finished the sentence "The hardest thing about 2012 was..." with "my mom having a baby." It made me sad to read that he viewed the addition of Vaha to our family as a difficulty rather than a celebration. But it's because I'm such a beast when no sleep gets mixed with wonky blood sugar levels. My fuse is ultra-short, so I snap, and my kids are immediately afraid of me. Nothing they do is right, and I place completely unreasonable expectations on them. I really hope their memories are forgiving and with time they won't remember much of this period--because I know I won't!

Well, speaking of the devil, that sweet little boy's eyes just popped open. He's awake from his never-long-enough nap. But with a dimpled, gummy grin, his eyes crinkle up and my heart is mush. I'm off to love on him and get a little hormonal high. :) It's all worth it, right?

Ringing in the New Year

New Year's Eve was uneventful...we played a couple games then Vaha and I retired early to catch up on some ZZZZs. Aki stayed up with the kids and had popcorn and hot cocoa, played some more games, and watched some performances on TV until the ball dropped--the kids were just excited to stay up until midnight, of course. My plan with Vaha didn't work...I am consistently experiencing insomnia after the early morning (2 or 3 am) feeding. So on New Year's Day, I was a zombie. The kids have been so good and patient with me the entire Christmsa vacation. Between illness, snowstorms, and a newborn, we haven't done much of anything in the way of fun.

New Year's Day was their last day of vacation, and as there had been yet another snowstorm the day before, they asked if we could please go sledding. Aki had the day off, so he was a good dad and took them, borrowing a friend's sleds. They had a blast!! I'm kind of sad I missed it (I did get a good nap in while they were gone, though), so I'm glad Aki took some photos.

Makai, Uncle Travis would be proud you are wearing a camo hat.

Stansbury Park has some awesome sledding locations.

Because doesn't snow licked off your gloves always taste good?

Tevi stole this hat from our snowman kit. His ears must have been cold.